Bite-Size
I feel restless, like I need to do something important. Not important in a global perspective, but important for myself, as a person. My life, as it is now, is on a standstill. It’s a bit hard to explain in that parts of my life are on hold and the little that’s left to move forward is doing so in a snail’s pace. It’s like I’m moving forward in slow motion with, maybe, parts of my soul left behind. Or at least that’s how it feels like.
When I decided to come to Singapore I thought going abroad was suited for my personality. I wanted to get that feeling (I owe Lainie for pointing this one out so clearly) of always hitting the ground running. But now that I’m here, I realised going abroad is nothing like that but more of hitting the ground face first. I never really imagined it to be this trying as I saw myself as someone who easily adapts to the surroundings like how one can put on a hat with ease. However, now that I’m experiencing it first hand, I can say that adapting isn’t as easy at is sounds.
When I landed in Changi Airport I wasn’t mesmerised as how I expect I would be if I went to, say, Paris. Singapore has none of the towering infrastructures like the Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty, or the Petronas Towers. What it does have is a remarkably clean, organised, and super efficient system to the point that its being a well-oiled machine leaves no mark of impurities and imperfections to which we draw inspiration from. To say it is boring could be an understatement (or an overstatement, depending on how you want to look at it) but I am willing to give it another chance. So for the past few weeks I’ve tried my best not to compare it with neighboring country, Malaysia. Going to art galleries and exhibitions and film showings are making my stay here a little bit worthwhile. Even the arts seem sterilised though, if you ask me.
I’m trying to put the bad experience I’ve had two weeks ago in some far off drawer of my memory where I hope it will collect dust. But its freshness still stings and Singapore might have to wait until I could put it fully behind me. Until then, I can only take bite-size pieces of this place.
