This is probably not a good excuse but being born somewhere between February 18th to March 21st could very well lead you to be somewhat delusional. Thus, I conclude this to be my curse – or responsibility (if any) in case you wanted to evoke Peter Parker’s famous line.
Wikipedia has drummed up a good list of Piscean traits to which I humbly concede to all: impressionable, gentle, easygoing, kind, compassionate, sensitive, dreamy, intuitive, imaginative, versatile, gullible, spiritual, escapist, and selfless. Some people may disagree on a few of the traits listed above (on the premise that I do not know myself and that I am merely channeling what people say Pisceans are) but in a sense – if you want to put me in a nutshell – I am clearly 100% Piscean.
(Note: Facebook’s astrology application (by astrolis.com) is pretty effing accurate and that this post’s introduction is (see above) – I now just realized – is a futile attempt to make myself seem more coherent. I don’t even know if this fits in anywhere near what I’m about to tell you, we’ll just have to see then. Advance apologies if we find out that I am totally bullshitting you guys.)
Recently, more precisely yesterday, I have decided that when I abandoned my plans of a post graduate course in Marketing for an Arts Management one, I realized I was crazy; not for giving up Marketing (even though that is my job description as of the moment) but because deep down inside my confused self lies the reality that (yes) I do love writing and (yes) I must take up writing. So began my journey into the UK’s educational system, browsing countless digital prospectuses, reading and re-reading the course descriptions (not to mention the staggering costs), and the seemingly unreachable eligibility requirements of a writing course.
I don’t know why I suddenly felt the need to take up school again. Perhaps because it was always part of my future plans or because I miss it now that I’m working, but to finally admit to myself that I should take up writing is very liberating.
When I was eighteen and checking out courses for my Bachelor’s degree, I was dead set on Communications. I do not regret ever taking it up because it has offered me so much of the world’s jobs (I could practically be anything I want to be with this course under my belt: journalist, broadcaster, film maker, lecturer, designer, advertiser, marketer, et cetera) but, as I have found out from market research, too many choices only leads to confusion.
In short, I’m doing Marketing just as I had planned it (even wrote it down on my CV’s Objectives section) but cannot wait to get out of it (well, not entirely) and how I had also planned to reach Singapore’s shores but now dream of the day I fly off to leave this place permanently. Don’t worry, I am not helpless in this so-called “rut”; remnants of my OCD days are still visible and I have a rough draft of a plan.
But first, before I delve deep into the innards of my soul, my astrological forecast:
(I now realize why that introduction was necessary, be patient with me, yes?)
Thursday, August 28
Your intense passion is more than some people can handle right now, but don’t let that stop you. While you may be eager to increase your participation in a new project, you may not be sure how to go about it. Nurture your enthusiasm and let it take you to new heights. Avoid any premature reactions this afternoon; plan your approach and follow through.
Friday, August 29
If you don’t make any great leap, it’s only because you’re making incremental progress in all directions. This is the perfect time for you to appreciate the beauty that surrounds you. You have much more going for you than you may realize. An impulse buy you make today could pay off as an asset down the road.
Fortunately, I am not going to dissect my forecast and tell you why it’s so goddamn accurate, although I have this great impulse to make footnotes. Haha. But I shall spare thee of such agony. Feel free to revert back to these small snippets of the future after you’ve read the entire post because, like I said earlier, it is very very very accurate.
Anyway, I did say I want to take up writing and I’m sort of eyeing Oxford’s Creative Writing course; sort of, because the chances of getting picked is 0.08% and to put myself up for that kind of competition, going head-to-head with the writers who’ve put their life’s blood into their work, is too – shall I say it – strenuous on my part. But also because my writing portfolio is practically nil (okay, I lie; more like work I’m not particularly proud of) and also because of the more economical reason of, “Euros are too damn expensive”, making this endeavor all the more elite and out of my reach.
Still, in light of my so-called philosophy of “If you wish for it hard enough the whole universe will conspire for you to achieve it” I am going to try. As of the moment, I am reading a digital version of a writer’s resource kit, that tells me (in summary) of what I need to do in order to make it and I have searched high and low (in Google) of short writing workshops I could dabble with for the meantime; yes, this is me trying to make sure I have a decent portfolio to show the Oxford people. So for the next couple of months (and years), I will be writing and writing and writing until I could write with my eyes closed and without my fingers doing any actual, physical writing.
To aid me with this I must need a hundred notebooks and a thousand pens to make up for all the writing I’m planning to do, right? Wrong. All I need is a laptop. Of course I’d like to say that I’m doing this for the environment (to some extent, yes) but also because I really do need a laptop and an extra reason to buy it puts my conscience to rest. As to what laptop I’m getting, I have sealed my mouth shut on this topic until I get the damn technology into my hands. I wouldn’t want to jinx it, please.
Another good reason to get the laptop (before I forget and go into regret or back out of the purchase) is that I am teaming up with our IT guy to make me an online marketer. He’s already brought this issue to the big big BIG boss and he said he’ll “look into it”, which is good enough for us. Thus, for the past few days, I’ve been frantically searching for the skills I need to brush up on to make this work; because god knows I have to get out under my current manager’s wings ASAP. And although our IT guy said that I have all the basic knowledge to make a good online marketer, I’d have to learn some more to make a great one. First on my list (more a personal project than a career move) is that I’d like to learn open source programming. As to how I’m going to go about it, I have no idea; I’m still figuring this one out.
So rough plan is: get laptop, write a lot of material (good ones if I can help it), and learn more about Web 2.0 and open source development.
I really feel good about this because I’ve finally admitted to myself that I do love writing. I mean I already knew that I wanted (and needed) to write but I’ve always stayed clear of getting into the nitty-gritty of it; like deadlines and whatnots. To actually put myself out there, to try my hand at script writing, novel writing (which I did for a week in my attempt to conquer NaNoWriMo), poetry writing, and whatever form of writing, is a big thing for me. I was always afraid that I wasn’t good enough or that I was simply not up for that kind of task. But I’ve learned that I need to face and accept rejection and dejection if only to reveal, in the end, a clearer understanding of what I want to write about.
Feels good, this.
