Neo Nomadic Dreams & Caffeine-Induced Reality

The Myth of Sisyphus

So it begins, this absurdity. Even the reference to Sisyphus or anything Camus is absurd, not because he champions that subject but because much of my knowledge of his work is tied to…a lost love who, absurdly, was a Philosophy Major and whose entire undergrad thesis was about Sisyphus.

Lending to an even greater absurdity is the fact that this so-called ‘lost love’ made an appearance yesterday. It was weird but not disconcerting, which I think is a very good sign that I have moved on. Ah, but I digress.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Secrets by Alice Smith

Where was I? The Myth of Sisyphus:

Camus presents Sisyphus’s ceaseless and pointless toil as a metaphor for modern lives spent working at futile jobs in factories and offices. “The workman of today works every day in his life at the same tasks, and this fate is no less absurd. But it is tragic only at the rare moments when it becomes conscious.”

Earlier this evening I became conscious of the absurdity of my life. It’s not really about work, as I do love what I’m doing, but more on a general note that I feel like I am not getting anywhere.

I am what society calls as having a quarter-life crisis.

At twenty-three, this is all so premature. I’m supposed to have at least a year more of unadulterated bliss before life hits me square in the face, isn’t it? But I guess leaving home signed me out of that privilege. This is the universe’s way of giving me the finger for having taken destiny by the horns and riding it. Yes, I believe that last sentence is wrong in so many levels but I am sure you get what I mean.

You know, I am usually a very cheery person. However, I can only do so much as ‘pretend’ that everything is okay because it is far from being okay. The state of my finances is probably one of my bigger and more pressing dilemmas as I am using two-thirds of my pay on overhead expenses and the rest on paying off debt leaving me practically penniless. This depresses me, being broke depresses me a lot.

Sadly, money is only the tip of the iceberg. I have other issues to deal with, other monsters to face, other skeletons that are hiding in my closet. The even sadder part is, I’m unsure what these ‘others’ are. But I feel it inside me. It is a gnawing feeling that won’t go away and it eats me up inside.

I sense a storm coming.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Broken by Late of the Pier

RSS. This blog is proudly powered by Wordpress & Fused Network. Modern Clix theme by Rodrigo Galindez.

Budak Baba

Gosh, I do hope the weekend will give you some rest; or if you really have to work, at least, not as pressured as this post makes you out to be. the commenters before have really made their points well, i have nothing new or original to add.

Hopefully, you can be stronger to face the challenges facing you ya.
Niki Torres

It will. I already feel better as the days wore on. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
danielhoang

I'm kinda a finance geek and I love posting my two cents. Fortunately, I think David really hit it on the spot. My younger brother is no longer young! He's all grown up. From graduation to that point where you feel like you've got it together can be from 5 to 10 years. When you're starting out or when you're at a position where salary/income is low, most of your income should go to annoying necessities (rent/food/debt). As your salary grows, that part becomes a much smaller part of your budget and then life starts getting fun. That's why I'm excited to start by 30's soon. I think those will be the best years of my life (at least until I turn 39, at which time the 40's will be the best years of my life).
Niki Torres

I hope my period of living from paycheck to paycheck ends soon.

Thanks for sharing your two-cents Daniel. If I have financial questions, I shall seek your advice. Hopefully it's not about getting out of debt but more of investing. Here's to hoping my luck in money changes over time.
Jeb Dickerson

I don't know why reading this post, and the comments herein, have hit me quite like it has, but there's something important here. I've got a decade on you, and your other commenters, and yet I can identify with all that you've said, all these emotions.

And so my conclusion is that it's less about age and more about now. About this place we've come to as a society/people, about the priorities we've maintained and the values which now seem woven into the fabric of our collective experience. This malaise, while intensely personal, is also quite widespread, and though it feels like we shoulder this burden alone, it's not so. At least it needn't be.

I feel an opportunity coming to the fore where we might create a community around this growing pandemic, and in so doing, change course, collectively, toward something so much better.

This is the glimpse of life that keeps me from wallowing too long.
Niki Torres

Malaise. Pandemic. These are such strong words and yet so true. Perhaps you are right in saying that this is less about age but more about the now. I mean, David and I were talking about if we'll ever get over quarter-life crisis and we sort of concluded that we just don't. We just become too old and move on to mid-life crisis.

I think you are right in saying that a community will rise from all this: to gain support, to seek understanding, to feel less alone in their plight no matter how personal. I think we already have that in less formal/official online communities. But they are there, only waiting to be found. We're all waiting to be found.
ranajay

I feel like the past 2 years have been very much like a crisis for me too. Just that I don't like to admit it openly. Like David said, this is a difficult age.
Failed and meaningless relationships, uncertainty in jobs, wasted days, weeks, weekends and months that seem to lead nowhere.
The only thing that keeps us going...well, keeps me going atleast is that there's probably that one thing I need to do to make everything alright. I don't really know what that thing is, but my mind says its to complete my bond in Singapore and leave this place forever.
Only time will tell ofcourse. Till then, hopefully you'll find some solace in the fact that you're not the only one feeling this way.
Niki Torres

I know a lot of people are going through the same motions. I'm not so sure I should be happy that they are but yeah, I guess it's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this.

I hope I find that 'thing' that will keep me going. I hope you get through yours too.
ranajay

I hope you do too! And it maybe that because this weekend was exceptionally crappy and now that I'm at work, I'm feeling a bit more cheerful (weird huh? More cheerful at work...on a Monday :P)...but I'm certain there's hope.

I don't really agree that we're doomed to go from quarter-life to mid-life crisis. A decently paying job or a happy and stable relationship are perhaps all we need to change our perspective on life.

Let's hope we get there soon :).
Niki Torres

There is definitely something to be had with routine. It's a warm, familiar feeling and jumping back on it kind of makes us feel like we have a 'purpose'.

I think the bigger question is, will we ever stop wanting more? You know what they say, the grass is always greener on the other side.
ranajay

Yeah, I guess routine works that way :).

As for wanting more...that never ends. It can be a positive thing if the wanting manifests itself as healthy ambition. But being unhappy and wanting more are two different things. In university, I was poor. I certainly wanted more. But I was very happy for a long time. I just want to be happy and content with my life right now...which I'm not.

But yes, I do think that things aren't gonna be like this always.
David Hoang

Maybe I say this because I'm in my mid-20s and can totally relate, but this age is difficult. For me, I was fresh out of college and all of my money went to bills and paying student loans. I worked hard each and every day but felt like I was going nowhere.

To this day, I still am in the midst of a quarter-life crisis. It's very hard. But after quarter-life comes mid-life, and so forth. One step at a time :)

Though I don't know Alexander the Great, Mozart, Bill Gates and Joan of Arc personally, I'm sure they had some setbacks too. Did you know Conan O'Brien worked at Wilson's Suede and Leather for years after he got his degree at Harvard?! During a commencement speech he gave, he mentioned feeling like Sisyphus, but he finally had a breakthrough.

Though there is nothing I can say that will make this feel better, know that I am here for you and will help you calm the storm once it gets here. Perhaps I need to exercise more to to help you push this boulder :P

Hang in there Niki.
Niki Torres

Thanks David. Just knowing that I have someone when things get rough makes things seem less daunting.

Neo Nomadic Dreams
& Caffeine-Induced Reality

You are reading

The Myth of Sisyphus

Search

Recently on Twitter

Photos

Recent Comments

Categories

Recommended

Badges

Neo Nomadic Dreams& Caffeine-Induced Reality

You are reading

The Myth of Sisyphus

Search

Recently on Twitter

Photos

Recent Comments

Categories

Tags

Recommended

Badges

Neo Nomadic Dreams
& Caffeine-Induced Reality