Deep Sighs
August arrived like a punch in the face. I haven’t even had the chance to recover from the blow and I’m finding myself already midway through the month. I’m getting restless again mostly because 2010 is ending faster than I can keep up. I look back and I wonder what the hell I’ve been doing. Nada. It seems like I haven’t done anything. I may not be going backwards but I sure as hell am not getting anywhere. And that’s what’s causing me the daily pang of anxiety. The more I retreat from the world the more I need the distraction to keep me from driving myself into insanity. Yet the more I do, the more I realize that I’m doing this for…
…for what exactly again?
Actually, to be very honest, I don’t know what I’m doing. It seems like I’m falling into this with my back turned facing the sky, never knowing where or when I’ll hit the ground. Of course I know that I will [hit the ground], yet I’ve not actually prepared myself for the inevitable. That inevitability scares me beyond what I allow myself to feel.
I wonder, when I’ll be able to stop feeling like I’m floating through all of this? From what I’ve gathered, age doesn’t really play a part. OR I could very well just be worrying myself to death. How unfortunate.
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Anyway, I’ve been a slack about taking photographs of my past two weeks mostly because I haven’t been doing anything remotely interesting. Unless you find my work desk of interest then I’d have to give that thought another go. Perhaps a few of my recent Flickr favorites would do?
