I’m turning twenty-four in three days.  I think I’ve told almost everyone my mortality forecast–being that I would die young at a tender age of twenty-six, or earlier.  The fact that the world is changing–the increasing frequency of hail, tsunamis, earthquakes–gives me enough chills in my spine to think that a tsunami might hit Bali while I am there.  I am scared, perhaps a bit neurotic about the whole idea of it all but I always tell myself, If it’s time, it’s time. Plus I always felt like I belonged to the sea, maybe it’s coming to take me back.

Funnily enough, I’ve instructed some people who could see past my morbidity and told them to tell everyone in my funeral that, Niki says, “I told you so”, as proof that I had seen this coming.  Maybe my being psychic (or psychotic, even) will be proven once and for all.  As much as I am kidding on this, I am also, surprisingly, very serious.

Quiet Poetic by Urbandub

I’ve actually began writing notes again, I mean, I used to carry a notebook around me all the time and I’d write notes whenever I have ideas or thoughts about the book I’m reading. The Diary of An Unreasonable Man actually gave me something to ponder on because it’s just brimming with insight and it’s just beautiful; an enjoyable read, thus far.

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I cannot believe it’s March already, wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that New Year’s Day came? Ah well…time flies.

Speaking of gut feelings, these are the songs that I just can’t stop listening to. Why? Beats me.

Bryn by Vampire Weekend
My Night With The Prostitute From Marseille by Beirut

So yeah, I’m actually going to Bali (finally!) on my birthday.  The original plan was Phuket but that fell through and now we’ve got a new trip in place.  I knew I should have just gone with the original plan.  I did, last year anyway, thought I’d hit up Bali for this year.  And hey, look where I’m going.  Guess it was just meant to be.  Fate.

Seven days of unadulterated fun in the sun.  Boy can I hardly wait!

This year’s birthday will be quite an eye opener for me in so many ways.  Not only will my coming back broke (meh, what’s new) force me to be more serious about my finances but the trip will hopefully give me some time to think about things and people.

I am really looking forward to spending time with myself and rediscovering the ‘old’ me.  Old, like the past version of myself, where I was carefree and exciting and totally not quite the loser that I am now.  Seriously, I used to be appalled by people who never go on vacations for two years.  Workaholic, I used to call them.  Well, look where that got me. Bollocks.

Bali baby!!!

What If I Leave by Rachael Yamagata

And more turning…

Eff this.

On The Bound by Fiona Apple